Divorce is a seven-letter word, but its meaning is so profoundly life-changing.
Originating from the Latin word “divortium” meaning “separation”, divorce is rarely a pleasant experience. No matter what the reason or how amicable it is, it signals the end of a marriage, which is a major life change that feels like a loss and does deserve to be mourned.
Once you work through the natural fear of change and weather the actual process itself, it can be both empowering and liberating.
The Truth About Divorce
For anyone wondering what divorce is really like, below are five truths that everyone should know:
1. Prioritize Self-Care
While getting a divorce may seem like an extension of self-care, prioritizing your well-being is essential.
Navigating a divorce is challenging at the best of times, but it is much more difficult when you are physically and emotionally exhausted.
Ensure you get enough quality sleep, eat nutritious meals (Ben & Jerry’s ice cream directly out of the tub does not quite count), and exercise.
Lastly, take a shower. A shower always helps to make a person feel better.
2. Practicalities
Getting divorced means change – there is no way around that.
Divorce involves significant personal and practical changes in social circles, parenting, and routines. It often impacts your financial status, so address asset division, debts, and child support early on.
It might take a while to get alimony or spousal support, but ensure you get things cleared out during your divorce settlement agreement.
To start, establish separate bank accounts if you do not already have them so you can manage your finances independently of each other.
3. It Does Not Have To Drag On
We all know someone whose divorce took five years. Moreover, if you had a prenuptial agreement, things would work fast for you.
Those are generally the complicated ones, so they get talked about the most. The average divorce takes around nine months, and uncontested divorces can be wrapped up in less than six.
Whatever you do, consult professionals like Family Lawyers in Sugar Land for advice on how to stay out of court and complete your divorce proceedings as amicably as possible.
4. Temporary Shame
The word divorce tends to conjure up images of someone in unwashed sweatpants, feeding a cat, and waiting for the loneliness to envelope them into a downward spiral of depression.
In a country built around the idea of a two-parent family, divorce will feel like a personal failure. The truth is that it is not.
Divorce sucks, and it can be messy, and it makes you re-evaluate who you are as a person – but the shame you feel at the beginning is temporary.
Do not feel like you have to explain your situation to everyone. You cannot change the facts, but you do not have to talk about them if you do not want to.
5. People Will Criticize You
When you first raise the idea of divorce amongst your friends, you will likely be met with critical resistance.
The thing no one tells you about divorce is that some people think it is contagious. People will talk about child custody and try to scare you about it.
It is not a virus that spreads maliciously and without care, but a bug exists, and it can spread when there are problems.
That is why so many people are resistant. Divorce makes people examine their marriages – and not everyone likes what they see.
Once you get past that, it becomes easier and you can start to recover.
The Truth About Divorce: Things People Don’t Talk About
Above-mentioned, are some of the best advice that you have to listen to when you are going through a divorce. However, there is another part of it that people mostly don’t talk about. Let’s take a look at those.
You Will Feel Like an Outsider
Even though people have come a long way, some will frown upon divorce and judge you. You might not have any divorced friends to get you through the process and give you advice.
People mostly judge others and think about their fragile marriages unconsciously. Well, you can get to Google and look for different support groups that can provide you with insight on the topic.
They will reassure you that you are not ruining your and your kid’s lives. There you will find people who went through difficult times and chose to part ways. However, you might still feel alone for a while, and that is normal.
You Will Find Your People
Even if you do not have someone in your immediate group to help you with precious advice about the situation, somehow or other you will find your people. You will see them living a normal life, and that is when you might feel a bit relaxed.
There are plenty of other divorced people like you, or single moms or dads, living a happy life with their kids. You need to find your people. Well, they don’t necessarily have to be divorced; they just have to understand you without any judgment.
You Will Love the Solo Time
It is an open secret that women initiate divorce most of the time. Women have become financially independent and can take care of themselves and their kids on their own.
This is the time for you to explore the world. Try on new things you could not before. This is the time you should focus on self-care and pamper yourself even more than you used to.
Moreover, you will learn a lot of things about yourself, which you did not notice before. Take some time, and then think if you want to get involved with someone new not not.
You Will Hate The Solo Time
Some days are going to be hard, especially the first few days. You will have to meet your divorce lawyer alone and take responsibility for things alone. You have to do things that you never did alone.
Spending time alone at home will be difficult in the beginning. You will be taking time off and going on vacation alone.
Memories will rush through and take you back in time, and you will hate being alone. However, you will get used to it with time.
It Will Get Easier With Time
Some days are more painful than others, particularly at the beginning. Remember that change can be difficult at first, messy in the middle, and beautiful in the end.
The truth about divorce is that it will hurt in the beginning. But, you have to push through the pain.
However, you will feel connected to yourself like never before. If you need, you can go for therapy as well. eventually, you will understand you have taken the right decision for yourself.
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